Rajini : Part 3

Mom and Dad both came to room and were silent for about 30 mins. Both started the discussion at the same time asking me how am I feeling. I said I am fine. I told them that I want to go home and want to attend school. It is very boring here. Mom came towards me and holded myhand and said, “ dear, I want to tell you one thing now. Listen carefully and be calm”.

Me : Yes. Tell me that we are going back home. I don’t want to stay in hospital. I am tired of so many blood tests, x-ray and other tests.

Mom eyes were red and felt like she was about to cry. Looking at her, I controlled and said, tell me what you want to say.

Mom : You are our sweet darling and you are one on thousands who has a small problem with your body. And listen carefully. You are not a boy, but you are girl.

Me : How can this happen?  How come my stomach pain can change me to a girl

Dad : Dear, when you were born you  were born with combination of both male and female organs, but now your female organs are more than the male organ. So from now on you will be a girl

I was not at all ready for this shock and confused.

Me : I am not able to understand.

Mom ; You love me right, and sometimes you used to tell me that you want to be like me. Now you can really be like me. You can dress in beautiful clothes

Me : But how will I attend the school, my friends will tease me. I cant attend the school as a girl and I cant show myself to my friends and teachers. Please leave me alone.

With this, Dad could not control his emotions, he left me and mom in the room. We both discussed for a long time and she convinced me that if I do not agree to change as a girl , I will be seeing major problems which will impact my life.  After nearly 2hours of long discussion, I have agreed to listen with a condition that I don’t want to go to the same school and like to join new school and preferably girls school. For which both my parents agreed. 

My journey towards being a girl started now.  Next day I have been discharged from the hospital, but for the next one week we stayed in our guest house and in the mean time dad took a rented house . Before going to the rented house, my mom bought all the clothes like half saree, salwaar, skirts and other night wear clothes for me so that I start my journey as a girl.

My brother to complete 10^th std  by staying in aunt’s house and my dad planned to visit him every Sunday and take care of his education. Before moving to the new house, my mom called my grand parents and some important guests. On that day, my first ceremony as girl was celebrated as my aunt and uncle gave me half saree. It was different feeling as for the first time, I wore half saree. I still remember it was a lovely half saree. As I had boy hair cut, my mom added me a extra hair and kept lot of jasmine flowers. I could not face my dad that day as I felt very shy. From that day, my relation with mom increased very much. That was the beginning of the day where I stopped wearing the boy’s clothes. I was really feeling shy to talk to every one. But my mom was very happy that now she has a daughter. My grand mother was praising me a lot that I am looking beautiful. But my mom was constantly behind me to ensure that I sit properly and adjust my half saree properly.

 

 

After one week, we moved to the house. Every one used to ask me why I cut my hair. I felt very much uncomfortable when they used ask these questions.   My regular check up with the doctor started and to begin with I was asked to take hormone tablets to restrict the male hormones and develop the female hormone. After nearly two months, my menses cycle became normal and now I developed breast. Initially during the night time I was just on nighty, but after one month, my mom ordered me to wear the petticoat inside the nighty. It was really nice smooth feeling to wear petticoat. Though it restricted my movement, I started accepting. I could not study 6^th standard because of regular health related problems.